I recently received an email (spam) from one of the major paid online dating services with the subject line reading: “1 in 5 relationships start online.”
So by those odds, I’m more likely to find someone offline. Yes, let’s do that.
As much fun as it was to be slobbered on by an anime aficionado with bondage tendencies, getting asked out for chicken waaaaangs and receiving a plethora of vulgar emails inquiring about my measurements, I think I might be taking a break from the online dating world.
And apparently the odds are in my favor!
There is only one problem with my plan to abandon online dating: I really suck at meeting people.
It’s not that I’m shy, though I can be in a lot of situations; I just have no idea what to say to people that I don’t know other than, “Hi, I’m Amanda. Uhhh, nice shirt.”
So in order to offset my naturally alluring awkwardness, I start babbling incoherently about weird things, like heart valve surgery or my bizarre fascination with the movie Predator.
My inner voice screams “shut up!” a lot.
Then there’s whole question barrage of questions that accompany meeting someone in person. “Does he like me?” ”Is it ok for me to ask him out or should I wait for him?” “Is he gay?” “Wait, is that his girlfriend?”
Alas, without the benefit of the online introduction, I don’t get asked out a lot. So my quandary: continue to be a dating leper, or fork out another mound of cash in order to go out on more humiliating dates?
I’ll brave the real world.
Lesson learned: If a dating site tells you that your odds are better meeting Mr. Right in person, well, you’re basically screwed.