Nonline Dating
I recently received an email (spam) from one of the major paid online dating services with the subject line reading: “1 in 5 relationships start online.”
So by those odds, I’m more likely to find someone offline. Yes, let’s do that.
As much fun as it was to be slobbered on by an anime aficionado with bondage tendencies, getting asked out for chicken waaaaangs and receiving a plethora of vulgar emails inquiring about my measurements, I think I might be taking a break from the online dating world.
And apparently the odds are in my favor!
There is only one problem with my plan to abandon online dating: I really suck at meeting people.
It’s not that I’m shy, though I can be in a lot of situations; I just have no idea what to say to people that I don’t know other than, “Hi, I’m Amanda. Uhhh, nice shirt.”
So in order to offset my naturally alluring awkwardness, I start babbling incoherently about weird things, like heart valve surgery or my bizarre fascination with the movie Predator.
My inner voice screams “shut up!” a lot.
Then there’s whole question barrage of questions that accompany meeting someone in person. “Does he like me?” ”Is it ok for me to ask him out or should I wait for him?” “Is he gay?” “Wait, is that his girlfriend?”
Alas, without the benefit of the online introduction, I don’t get asked out a lot. So my quandary: continue to be a dating leper, or fork out another mound of cash in order to go out on more humiliating dates?
I’ll brave the real world.
Lesson learned: If a dating site tells you that your odds are better meeting Mr. Right in person, well, you’re basically screwed.
I’ve already told you I would help you in the real world remember guys tend to flock to me like bugs on a light then they get shocked when I tell them why it aint gonna happen
but least it’ll be a good conversation starter ” hey thanks but Im gay but meet my friend Amanda” see it could totally work or theres always those Match meeting get togethers which I think would be good since your all there for the same reason
Those match meetups look like torture. With bowling shoes.
Hey! Don’t knock till you try it
I’ll go with you if it sucks or you feel like you may get some sort of disease from the air we’ll leave but least you can say you tried 
I think my odds are WAY better online. Which is sad, but in the real world, I don’t talk to anyone. Because, why would I just start talking to some woman randomly? Seems weird, like something a weirdo would do.
I go to brewpubs or bars by myself, have a beer and/or a meal alone, and not talk to anyone other than the bartender or a guy who I happen to talk to there occasionally because he’s sitting next to me. I go to the ice rink, but women don’t play hockey, so there’s no one to meet there. Comic shops on Wednesdays? Hahaha. Seriously, these odds suck. I’ll stick with the internet. At least on OKCupid, I can send an email off and it’s not weird that I did it.
Yeah, I’m pretty much S.O.L.
You need to find a nerd. Everything you’ve said would pass perfectly with the nerdish types.
The nerds I like are usually too shy to do anything about it. And then I get scared that maybe I’m coming off as weird and aggressive. Plus, I want to be pursued. I hate making the first move.
You’re too hard on yourself, Drew.