Propositions
I’m always somewhat amazed by how candid people can be at times. I’m all for honesty, but I’m also a fan of tactfulness. On a few occasions, I have been blatantly propositioned by men within minutes of meeting them. This usually happens in a bar, but not always.
For instance, during my sophomore year of college, one of my roommates invited some of her high school friends over for a party. Unfortunately for me, my dinner of choice that night was canned soup. I have since come to realize that soup is the worst possible food to eat before imbibing. I was young then, and poor, and an 89¢ can of soup was considered a good dinner. Plus I had spent most of that week’s allowance on my beverage of choice for the evening—Kahlua.
My roommate’s friends arrived as did the rest of the party and the music thumped,the patio filled with smokers and I started drinking. Eight Kahlua and creams later, I was feeling sick. I tried to mingle, but I could barely stand upright anymore. My stomach was cramping angrily and I needed desperately to get to my bedroom.
I groped my way across the living room wanting nothing more than to get away from people. As I rounded the couch an arm caught around my waist and I was pulled down into the lap of my roommate’s high school friend, a boy which I had known for approximately half an hour.
“Where are you going?” he said.
“I’m not feeling well, I need to lie down,” I answered, trying to figure out how to get his arms from around me.
“You should stay here with me.”
I shook my head vigorously and tried to push my way out of his lap. “Need to lie down,” I muttered. The room was tilting in an unpleasant way.
“How ’bout I go with you?”
I stopped my struggles to stare at him blankly. In my drunken haze I wondered why he would want watch me to curl up in the fetal position on my bed.
He smiled at my incomprehension. “You could, you know, give me a BJ.”
I grew up fairly sheltered. It’s not that I didn’t understand what he was asking for; it’s more that I wasn’t aware that people said these things to virtual strangers. At that point, no one had ever propositioned me this way and I wasn’t sure really how to respond.
Fortunately, the Kahlua responded for me.
I opened my mouth to speak and vomited. Actually, I projectile vomited. I credit the liquid dinner to giving me that kind of water pressure. It sprayed like a fire hose of Kahlua scented barf.
His arms dropped away instantly, at which point I jumped up and announced: “I feel better!”
Lesson learned: Alcohol can often lead to poor decision making. Sometimes, it can also make the decision for you.