Taking the Plunge
Earlier this week I received an email from 
Infant Brit. We haven’t been in contact since we broke up three years ago after he decided to give my headboard a golden shower. I guess, in my memory, I’d romanticized our relationship a bit. Other than “the incident,” was he really all that bad?
So I responded that I was doing well and asked how he was. And then he sent me this: “How’s your love life? I thought you’d be married with kids by now.”
Oh, right, we broke up because he has no tact.
Then it came flooding back to me. He was just awful and really disturbingly dirty. Not dirty in a fun way, dirty in the physically disgusting way. For example, one evening he was in my apartment and had to use the facilities. After a fair amount of time he came rushing out asking me what to do.
He had clogged the toilet.
Honestly, I don’t care if he, or any other guy, clogs the toilet. The plunger is right there, take care of it. In fact, I don’t even need to know about it. Alas, Infant Brit was not quite good at taking care of these ordinary things. He claimed that he had no idea how to fix a clogged toilet, and instead, added more toilet paper and overflowed said toilet. Apparently, water pressure and the mechanics of modern plumbing don’t exist in England. Or in his apartment in San Clemente.
Then he proceeded to tell me this was my fault.
How was this my fault? Because it was my toilet, I must have clogged it well before he spent half an hour in there.
I was left to plunge it myself, and then clean up the mess.
Lesson learned: This lesson is for guys, always know how to plunge a toilet. (And never make a girl you’ve just started dating clean up both your urine and your feces, at least not in the same week.)
LOL! OMG! first off..EEEWWWW!!!!! second…theres no way in hell I would go into the bathroom of the girl Im dating and feel free enough to “drop the kids off at the pool” I dont know maybe its me or maybe its a girl thing but thats just wrong!!
how did you not remember these things? Im with Liza, the kids aren’t being dropped off unless its an absolute emergency, and I still think id go down with the ship in that case.
Well, glad he cured you of romanticizing the relationship with just one email…
That he did. I swear I blocked this out because the pee incident was too traumatizing to remember more about him.